I blame globalisation.

In theory bringing the world together and reminding us we are actually one big happy family is a good thing. The sad reality is we get wages racing to the bottom. We get racism based on wages racing to the bottom and we get ICE BUCKET CHALLENGES.

I viewed my first one on Facebook around a fortnight ago. Two thoughts struck me. It was August so it was right in the middle of silly season. This meant part of me dismissed it as a trivial story to fill the summer void but then cynical old me had another look. God, it was so smug. US billionaires throwing ice water over each other and looking so ‘cool’ as they dressed casually. Enough already.

‘Aren’t we hilarious?’ they say and ‘look how charitable we are too’. Instead of an ice bucket, I was reaching for the sick bucket. I went away for a long weekend hoping that it would be all over when I returned.

How wrong I was.

It had become an ‘internet sensation’. Strike ONE

It had instant appeal to hipsters. Strike TWO

It made people think they were really doing something worthwhile as they could tex-nate a charity. STRIKE THREE. You’re OUT.

Yes, I know it raised lots of money. Yes, it raised the profile of people living with MND but the sheer smugness of the idea rubbed me up the wrong way. So far I’ve avoided any nominations and it feels great. The novelty will wear off soon and we can forget all this happened.

Having read this far, here is the MND text-line to donate to anyway 50300. I’m not totally heartless. Really.